[God it is cold in this fucking house. Without the two space heaters and the Inquisition fireplace, it's gonna be really hard to keep warm. Luckily, Elsword has ten thousand blankets upstairs, and Mizuki's not gonna escape going upstairs no matter how hard he tries. All that matters is whose room they end up in.
Either way, Elsword's anger, while not forgotten, can't be felt as powerfully. No matter what room they're in, he's dragging three comforters out of the wardrobe and piling them onto the bed, where he — about as tactile as Mizuki, frankly — expects them to be cuddled up soon. It's a blanket nest.
Leon will come in after a moment and chuff and invite himself up here, too.]
...I don't think you're any of the things she said you are, for what it's worth.
[ It's not hard to coerce Mizuki to follow. He intended to stay by Elsword, so that's what he's going to do. He doesn't utter a word while Elsword is getting his blankets. Mizuki still just wants to curl up and disappear — he's only not doing that because he wants to make sure Elsword is okay. ]
What, that I'm not Seaborn? [ A soft, strained laugh. ] …It's alright. She has every right to be upset with me. We did do all of those things. Iberians call it "the Profound Silence". "Worse than any Catastrophe, any war — the greatest tragedy to befall Terra."
...but did you do that, or did people who are Seaborn do that?
[Elsword knows Mizuki won't understand if he just leaves it there, so he tries to scrape the bottom of the barrel of his memory for an anecdote. Eventually, he settles on:]
My friends Lu and Ciel are demons. Demons contributed to the destruction of Velder back home. But it wasn't them who did it, it was others in their race. The Fire Master is half-demon. He's trying to save the world, not destroy it.
...my friend Ain has done some pretty horrible stuff, for an angel. He's hurting, and so he hurts others, and I usually had to stop him from doing those things. I'm an angel now, too. Do you think I deserve to be lumped in with people who did horrible things, just because we're the same race?
…Mmh, you don't get it, Elsword. There are no "singular" Seaborn. We are Many.
[ He… shouldn't be telling this to Elsword. It's not fair, when they're stuck together like this. He's going to leave, isn't he? ]
It would not be like if you, an angel, were judged on the behalf of all angels, it would be more like if your fingers would be judged for being part of "Elsword". We are a collective, all merely extensions of the firstborn.
…
Sometimes it's hard to differentiate "their" thoughts from "mine". It's why I have such a hard time picking the right options. Listening to them can be… an issue.
[yeah sorry you're not gonna change his mind that easily. It's Elsword. Once he likes you, it takes a lot to change that.]
I'm not talking to We Many. I'm talking to my friend, "Mizuki". If there's no singular "you", then why do "you" have a name? You just said you have your own thoughts, too. Can I just talk to "Mizuki"?
[...]
Mizuki. [Elsword takes Mizuki's hands in his. Are they cold? His sure are.] Did you cause the Profound Silence? You as in Mizuki. Just you. Were you there to destroy Miss Irene's home?
…But… You are talking to We Many…? It's not like We just have an "off" button…? [ Mizuki is really confused. It's been so long since he's been without them, it's hard to think how Elsword is supposed to see this from his perspective. ] She spoke of Us as if We're some "evil corruption" like yours is. This is an unfair representation of how it works.
… But We suppose corruption is not incorrect, either? [ Hhh… he doesn't like that thought. He coils some of his tendrils around Elsword and simply holds him closer. Hi, you're not getting away anymore. He won't allow it. ]
The Mizuki you've been talking to has always been part of the Swarm since you've known Us. And ever since I was seven. I was saved. We saved. I was definitely going to bleed out that night, but We gave a second chance at life.
… That said, I was born far after the Silence ever happened.
[Turn off We Many, he wants to talk to Mizuki. Hiveminds are like a switch, right?
Elsword's shoulders sag with relief. The tentacles winding around him are welcome, like a slimy hug, and Elsword returns the touch in his own way — cupping Mizuki's face in his hands, looking into his eyes, and sighing.]
I knew "you" weren't a bad person. [He murmurs quietly in the gloom, or, well, what little there is considering both of them glow in the dark.] It's not your fault. The current... You Many [no] didn't do it. Maybe you guys did in the past, but you guys... You Many [elsword] didn't do it when Mizuki was with you. And Mizuki didn't do anything wrong.
[For what it's worth, Elsword manages a thin, forced smile.]
She called you— Mizuki— a monster. I still think she's wrong for that, when you had nothing to do with it.
[ Hey, buddy? Pal? Friend? Companion of his? This shit's a little gay! Maybe don't hold his face like this when you're cuddling in a bed together to keep warm, okay? He's already really flustered from everything that happened at the meeting, he doesn't need to also be flustered about confronting his feelings for Elsword right now, either. He pulls his head away, averting his gaze to the blankets. ] Don't do that… [ The verbal warning is only because… Add's here, right? Imagine if he just came to check on them because he heard the bustling about earlier! What if he got mad at Elsword again? He doesn't want that. ]
…It doesn't really… [ How to say, "I see you, I love you, you're a bit dumb" but in a Mizuki kind of way- He should probably just let this slide because he has no idea how to explain this to someone who can't understand. ] It's a lot more complicated than I'm explaining it to be... sorry.
She has every right to be angry. The Inquisition has opposed Us since their conception, and she is very devout. Even if her perception isn't entirely clear or correct, We lied. To avoid conflict, sure, but it is a lie all the same.
[Elsword stops because Mizuki asked, of course, but he's simply going to take Mizuki's hands in his again and thumb over them. The motion is a tad apologetic; he hadn't meant to make Mizuki more upset. He just so happens to be touchy, that's all.
This is fine, though. He can run his thumbs over Mizuki's knuckles and look down at their intertwined hands and wonder why Mizuki simply wants the world to be mad at him. Why Irene is mad at him. In a way, he supposes he gets it. Lots of Elrians are demon-racist even though Not All Demons destroyed kingdoms and waged wars. Lots of Elrians are half-elf racist for no discernable reason. Someone gets wronged once, and that's it; that entire population of people are now the enemy.
It's not a very forward way of thinking, though. That's Elsword's entire problem with it.]
...no. I'm going to be upset with her. I haven't been that angry in a long time, and that's her fault, because of what she did.
[In a way, that feeling of unbridled rage is a good thing. It means that all hope isn't lost for Elsword being his own person somehow, in all of this. In a way, it's also a terrible thing, but he really and truly draws the line at someone close to him being hurt, and Irene has a penchant thus far for attacking Elsword's favourite people. Is it a reflection on who he chooses to spend time with, or a reflection on her? Both?
Those aren't questions he wants to answer right now.]
She hurt you. She called you a monster in front of everybody. She accused you of doing things you didn't do, even though you've been nothing but kind the whole time. [And though he missed what Lancer was saying as they were leaving, know that Elsword can and will shove a man through a window.] She doesn't see you how I see you. It doesn't give her the right to slice you with her sword and accuse you of terrible things you weren't even around for.
[ It's not as though Mizuki wants everyone to be upset with him. The opposite - he wants everyone to be happy. But, isn't it much easier if everyone is mad at him instead of Irene? Isn't it easier if he's the common enemy so the heroes can stay together? Mizuki wouldn't ever be alone, anyway. Genesezoic would make sure of that.
But he doesn't want to leave Elsword or Add behind. He's pretty sure if they hated him, it might actually crush his heart.
Elsword's cold fingers run over his knuckles and Mizuki just ends up staring at their hands for a while. Part of him wants to fuss over Elsword, tell him that it's way too cold and that he really needs to keep exposed skin under the blankets. They might not have a space heater, but Mizuki can go grab his undying lantern for some amount of heat, maybe? That would require moving, though, so… nevermind. That's off the table.
The part of him that wins is the part that is all too observant of how Elsword's skin feels. How rough his fingers are, yet how gentle the touch is anyway. How much smaller Mizuki’s hands are than his, and somehow how perfectly that means they fit. Mizuki’s hands aren’t warm by any means either, but there’s still something incredibly sweet about this that makes it feel like they are. He squeezes Elsword’s hands then very gingerly guides them under the covers once he’s realized he’s been staring for far too long. ]
…I was never in any danger. She didn’t explain herself well back there — she just wanted to know the color of Our blood. If it was red, she wouldn’t have reacted that way. She even would’ve apologized…
…Elsword, we all see people differently. Our experiences shape us. You are a hero, you want to see the best in people. You see good in Us.
Were it up to Us, We would fix that Illuminous Phenomenon for you, too.
[ Mizuki takes a small breath here. That sure did slip out, didn’t it? He’s not sure that was even one of his thoughts? But… gods, does it sound nice. He squeezes tightly on Elsword’s hands suddenly.
Mizuki, you’ve been going about this all wrong. Talking it down, negotiating, trying to make people happy with diplomacy… Elsword is different. His emotions aren’t there — We can fix that. We can fix that corruption, too. All of it.
…
He leans in, as if he didn’t just get onto Elsword for getting to close moments again so he could press his forehead against Elsword’s. ]
We could make you feel things again, Elsword. It wouldn’t be hard, and we’d always be together so we’d never have to worry about the forest being in your head anymore…
[ The tendrils are squeezing Elsword perhaps a little uncomfortably. Nothing too tight, but certainly enough that it’s not quite a nice hug anymore.
A couple tentacles lick over Elsword’s neck and cheeks. ]
It's... not as though I don't sometimes... feel things.
[Mizuki's forehead presses to his, and Elsword freezes up. His hands stop moving along Mizuki's, warming under the blankets. He swears for a moment he stops breathing, the world coming to a standstill. The sound of the storm outside their window is a distant, static din, and Elsword's previously-dim halo lights up just a touch more. It's no flashbang. It's certainly not going to blind the two of them while they sit together and breathe in short, quick breaths between them, warm air that comes out in puffs of white due to the ambient chill.
Somehow, Elsword doesn't feel much colder. Is it the three comforters, the lion, or Mizuki that's making that true? It's probably all three, but he prefers to think, in this instance, it's just Mizuki.]
I don't think I'll ever be normal. Between you, Add, and the mirror, maybe I'll be okay, but nothing's gonna come back full-strength. I accepted that. And I accept your offer to join you, too. But I still feel a little here and there, like getting mad at Irene, and...
[The tentacles on his neck tickle his skin. Elsword takes a deep breath, unbothered, and resolutely squeezes Mizuki's hands in his. So soft, so pretty, so delicate even though he knows Mizuki is far from it.
His eye flutters shut.]
...I figured out what love feels like, too.
[...]
That day you kissed me, I wasn't rejecting you, by the way. I just wanted to wait to see if Add would be okay if we included another person.
[Elsword brushes their noses together briefly, then... then he tilts his head, but he doesn't move much further. There's the slimmest space between them, a hair's breadth, enough space so that he can feel the air leaving Mizuki's lungs and nothing more.]
[ The reaction to him getting so close is missed entirely. Both because of Mizuki's mildly manic state of hyper fixating on becoming one with Elsword, and the whole autism thing, but he is paying mind to Elsword otherwise. Like, for starters, the very nonchalant way Elsword says that he's fine with joining him. Though this gets every part of his being so excited and practically shouting that We'll take good care of him, and he'll be welcome, and he'll be fixed like Mizuki was, and all We have to do and give Ourself to Elsword bit by bit, do the same things, become One… Mizuki still recognizes that Elsword obviously doesn't know what he's agreeing to. Mostly just because he knows Elsword doesn't understand the whole "hivemind," business yet.
He wants to laugh and tease him and let him know they can take baby steps. To tell him to talk to Add. To tell him to ask to join the experiment he's working on with regards to that. But he doesn't get the chance to when Elsword just keeps going, and brings up that he understands love. Immediately after, he talks about when Mizuki kissed him.
…
This breaks Mizuki, really. The tentacles loosen a bit on him. Why would Elsword bring that up at all? He seems to be going from Point A to Point F without the other steps in between, right? Why are those correlated. There was a pause, right? Maybe he was just moving on from that part of the conversation. Mizuki hadn't even put his two cents in yet, but- ah. Included another person, what? …Him?
……………………………………Huh?????
Whatever weird, unhinged shit Mizuki was about to start spewing about Elsword's perfection and joining the hivemind is promptly caught in his throat. He could try to laugh this off. What is he thinking? He's Add's. Why would he be in love with anyone else? Add's perfect - he's perfect. Mizuki isn't. He doesn't want to cause any more problems, after all. He's done enough of that tonight.
But Elsword is so close, and Mizuki's heartbeat is drowning out even We Many's thoughts at this point. He takes in a shaky breath in an attempt to say something, but…? He doesn't know how to respond. Stop him? Stop him??? He should, but…??? But??????????
…
There's no warning when Mizuki moves from in front of Elsword into his collar instead. There's even less warning when his teeth pierce and dig into the flesh there. ]
biting thread 2 electric boogaloo (no one read this)
[Oh okay that's one way to dodge a kiss, a simple "no" would have suffi—]
Ow—
[Elsword sucks in a sharp breath, squeezing Mizuki's hands in his a little tighter on instinct. He didn't forget that those teeth were razors, but man, it feels like he's being reminded all of a sudden. Mizuki just has knives in his mouth. That's fine.
Eventually, the pain starts to ebb, and Elsword exhales a low, stuttered sigh. It's just a pinch now. It'll hurt when he takes his teeth out, but for now...
For now, Elsword can feel hot blood dripping over his skin, pooling against his collarbone before soaking into his shirt. Ah, that's gonna be a pain to get out... maybe he won't even bother. Maybe he'll just keep this shirt for a rag or something next time he inevitably gets injured, or he'll cut the bloody parts out of it and turn it into a balled-up rag for Leon. Heimr seems to have plenty of plain shirts in the store, after all.]
...take your time. I'm not goin' anywhere.
[no bro you super are not because Moder will shove you back in through your window]
idk it's fine at least he's not being horny abt it like SOME ppl
[ The very first thing that goes through Mizuki's mind is that he really needs to stop biting people when he gets overwhelmed. It's been happening so much recently and it's becoming a genuine problem at this point. There's an argument to be made that right now of all times he really needed it, though. He needed some time to think. He needed some time to try and calm that storm in his head. He needed to try and figure out something really stupid to say. Where are his save states? He wants to pick both or all of his options before he makes a decision on which "route" he goes on. This isn't fair. This is really, really cruel, actually.
So, okay, biting is just going to have to be a consequence he deals with later. Besides, Elsword's so warm, and his skin is so soft, and Mizuki just sort of melts against him as he rests his teeth where they are. Sorry for the hurt, Elsword. But, look at the bright side, you'll have such a pretty scar there. This seems to be what Mizuki thinks, anyway. Something so lovely from Mizuki to never forget him by. A mark on his collar like it's a page in a journal, rather than literal teeth digging into his skin.
Realistically, though? At the end of this, it doesn't help Mizuki come to a conclusion. Rather, the only thing that comes out of this is a bite wound on Elsword and a very blue face on Mizuki. His face is incredibly hot, it's a wonder steam isn't coming off to combat the cold. Mizuki doesn't pull his teeth out slowly, knowing that would hurt more than just pulling them our quickly. Sorry, he still doesn't know how to use the moon magic to heal properly yet, Elsword. He can bandage that after his stupid stammering. ]
…I don't want to stop you. [ Cool, okay, good start. ] But- But I can't let you get in trouble because… because of something like this. Of me. I-I'm not… [ Important. ] …But I don't… I don't know what the right thing to do is…
[lavvy said it was okaythey're going to be hiveminded soon Elsword is weirdly confident in that assertion, in fact. He's pretty sure they're not about to be chastised. He's like, pretty sure Add would also kiss Mizuki on the mouth, the only problem being he's Add and Add can be a little squirrelly about relationships. But they're not talking about Add right now. They are talking about the hole in Elsword's goddamn shoulder, still bleeding steadily.
...
Yeah, he'll live. That's not enough blood loss to kill him.]
Sorry. If nothing else happens between us, that's fine, but at least let me get this out of my system first.
["Get what out of your system, Elsword?" one might ask, and it's too late, because Elsword surges forward to grab Mizuki's face, freeing his hands from under the blankets, and pulls him into a languid but firm kiss.
There's still blood on Mizuki's lips that drips into Elsword's mouth, a sharp copper tang, sloppy and wet and gross. None of that deters him, though. None of it. He has to kiss Mizuki while he's still got an emotion in his chest or he thinks he's gonna fucking explode.]
[ Mizuki is too flustered and noncommittal to anything, so he doesn't immediately respond to being kissed. Which is a shame, since he is fully expecting it at this point. He's so close to pushing Elsword away from him. He's so close to telling Elsword that he's really not anyone to have feelings for.
I'm not a hero. I mess everything up. You deserve so much better.
Mizuki doesn't air any of these concerns because he knows damn well he wants Elsword to kiss him. If he says it's okay, then isn't it okay? He just wants Elsword to be happy. He just wishes he were any good at making people happy, is all.
There's still blood on his lips, and he's sure he'd been drooling while his teeth were attached to Elsword, too. He's a mess, he feels like crying, and their lips don't find purchase on one another very well.
And yet, Mizuki is completely enamored, anyway.
Elsword will feel the tentacles writhe against him, coming to life with Mizuki's adoration, and maybe if he pays attention to the feeling he'll notice they're tracing little hearts against Elsword. And, well, the kiss gets mildly better when Mizuki finally melts against him and actually returns it. Somehow, despite their first kiss being way better in terms of… well, literally almost everything — they weren't freezing, Elsword's hands weren't cold, while their was still "wet gooey mess" on them, it 1) wasn't blood and 2) wasn't really on their face, Mizuki wasn't being a complete idiot about it, and there was some… "tact" to it — it still paled in comparison to this one. Almost certainly because of the absolute delight Mizuki's drowning in, and the fact that he's not going to freak out when Elsword pulls away.
And, yes, when Elsword pulls away, because as far as Mizuki's concerned, he can just stay like this for the rest of the night, thanks. Hope Elsword is fine with getting cocooned for the hundredth time this month because the tendrils are not letting him go. Someone should've told Elsword that when Mizuki catches you, he's simply stuck there forever.
This will only prove to a problem in due time. ]
Edited (I added a fuck ton of stuff because I wasn't happy w it-) 2023-12-21 14:41 (UTC)
[Problem? What problem? They're going to hivemind and it'll be great. Then they'll all conclusively know what's going on with the others — Elsword will know when Mizuki and Add disappear into the woods and when they're in danger and when they're safe. He'll know when they're happy or sad without having to ask. He can be there for them better than he can be now.
He kisses Mizuki with renewed fervour, clinging with equal intensity, minus the extra limbs of course. Maybe it's too far, to slip his tongue beyond Mizuki's lips and kiss him like this. Maybe he shouldn't lick his own blood out of Mizuki's mouth, but fuck if he hasn't tasted it before from the amount of times he's been punched in the mouth, fuck if he wasn't spitting it up the other day when he and Wolfwood beat each other up. He can't bring himself to care about the details when all he wants to do is kiss Mizuki stupid.
Oxygen, though, is still necessary. They part with a wet "pop", blood and saliva smeared over the both of them, and Elsword bonks their foreheads together in an affectionate gesture.]
You're still not a monster to me, [he finally says.] I wouldn't kiss you like that if I thought you were.
[ The Yandere Problem. Times two considering the boys he's picked, but… for right now, Mizuki's at least trying to put some distance. Mentally, that is. Physically, with how he's trying to pull Elsword against him tighter even though they're flush against one another, it's like he's trying to figure out how to meld with Elsword. And, mentally… well, he's doing everything to convince himself this is a bad idea. He's not sure why, this is something he wants and something Elsword wants, so everything should be alright. Maybe it's because tonight had been hellish and his mental is in shambles? Maybe he still just has such an immense loyalty to Add that not having his direct okay is causing issues? Maybe Mizuki's anxiety is just spiking for no reason?? Unclear.
It's not fair, though, is it? Elsword doesn't understand what Mizuki is. Elsword probably feels better abound Mizuki without knowing why. How cruel, then, that he's allowing this. How cruel that he doesn't want to stop. How cruel, how cruel. Mizuki knows full well all these thoughts are his own, too, since We Many has absolutely 0 stake in romantic endeavors. Unless he intends to make Elsword part of the Swarm, anyway, We're just going to stay mostly silent. Which is honestly probably worse, since it means Mizuki has to figure this out quite literally on his own. He doesn't know how.
You're still not a monster to me, he says. I know, Mizuki wants to say back. To be fair, Mizuki also doesn't truly think he's a monster — he believes We Many to be people just as much as anyone else here or on Terra. They are simply treated poorly because of a very unfortunate series of events. But he'd be lying if he didn't feel like one right now. And he'd also be lying if he thought that he couldn't do something completely heinous at this point and have Elsword think any less of him. It's what heroes do, right? They just see good in people and want to believe the best in them.
Maybe he doesn't have to think that hard about it, actually. Maybe he just has to accept that Elsword is happy, and therefore he should try his best to keep that going. That's all Mizuki wanted, anyway — for the people he cares about to be happy.
So he's going to nudge Elsword on his back so the blood can stop oozing from his collar like that and drag the three comforters with him on top, and after wiping away the blood on his lips, he licks clean the remnants on Elsword's. Only when it's gone does he press a passionate, less bloody kiss against him. ]
[somewhere between romantically licking the blood off Elsword's lips and going in for a round two, there is a familiar mental ping
Add is here now (by proxy). Mizuki's tracking data updated awhile ago, but he still hasn't reported the meeting results! And Add could just ask for an update and politely wait, sure, but how is he supposed to do that when Mizuki's physical record is showing he's been stabbed?? As a result, there is only a brief pause between Add pinging in for a checkup and deciding to simply patch himself in to the hivemind. Dynamo is still acting as his VPN, but there's a distinct Add-ness to how the AI spreads their mental tendrils, mindful of the Many while still shameless prodding at Mizuki's private thoughts. Prying for information, Elsword, the taste of blood, conflicting emotion—
It's a lot to process, but he can multitask. Concern is etched into his message, not quite a command (he can find it himself, if need be).
Meeting? Status report? Injury? On my way. Layered in the data is Add's own tracking information. He's already halfway out the lab door on a beeline to their house, Dynamo will arrive first by a small margin. Mizuki has approximately 2 minutes to explain.]
[ There's a mental keysmash as Mizuki pulls away from the kiss and also presses his hands on Elsword's face like hi, sorry, we're done kissing, actually. ~*Romance*~. This is for the best, honestly, since Mizuki was seconds away from going to bite some of those flowers out of Elsword's eye—
He relays back to Add: I'm okay. Got hurt, but it's healed over mostly. Just a small cut. Learned about the shards. I can halt the forest's corruption in Elsword now, though I can't get rid of it. Most of the other information is stuff we knew from the prior meeting. I mentioned something I shouldn't have, though, and it made Irene question if I was Aegir. She cut me to see if my blood was blue. I don't think she intended to really hurt me.
Elsword got upset that Irene cut me, and there was a lot of yelling, so I brought him home away from the Inn. I was a little upset about being outed as Seaborn in front of everyone, and she had said some very upsetting — if correct — things about me, so my emotions got the better of me.
Things sort of escalated. I kissed Elsword…
…Sorry I let my emotions get way too ahead of me. ]
[There's a vague sense of confirmation as Add reviews each detail given... once, up until "things sort of escalated", at which point he starts triple checking and re-reviewing and is he prying again? can he tell if Mizuki is lying? is he hiding anything, can he get the raw data out, can he pick apart the emotions and reactions and see exactly how Elsword is looking back right at this moment if he's a threat if—
no, okay, slow down. The stream of communication suddenly cuts out, if only for a second. Think logically. Mizuki is being truthful right now, just like before. Apologetic, even. He's not a threat to Add.
Focus on the facts. He'll be there shortly, regardless.
Communication resumes, slightly calmer than before. He's prying less, trying not to show his own uncertainty.
Noted. Is Irene a threat? (if she is, he'll kill her, he's unwilling to lose someone as valuable as Mizuki) Re: Elsword, who initiated?
There's something in the signal that echoes of "this is Elsword's fault" without meaning to, he just knows it must be.]
[ Everything is pretty easy to get to on Mizuki's end. He's quite literally Add's open book so "prying" might be way too aggressive of a word. Of course he isn't lying. If he's omitting anything, it's less because he's trying to and more because time constraints and his fluster makes it really hard to think completely clear in that moment. But, hey, at least matters of the heart don't interest We Many any. So, in that regard, We are completely silent.
While Mizuki was absolutely on board with lying and saying it's his fault, it's not so easy to filter out his thoughts, so… uh, oh well! Probably better in the long run, anyway. He shouldn't be keeping secrets from his commander like that.
Not a threat. He did. Then I did? I bit him and so the first kiss was all bloody and I felt bad about it because I didn't want it to be a horrible kiss—
sorry. It's not his fault, I didn't stop him.
Just… you know, gonna climb off of Elsword now. Sorry, buddy. ] Add is… um. Add's on his way over.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
mooninthewater) wrote2023-08-16 12:10 pm
after fam meet/being carried home
Either way, Elsword's anger, while not forgotten, can't be felt as powerfully. No matter what room they're in, he's dragging three comforters out of the wardrobe and piling them onto the bed, where he — about as tactile as Mizuki, frankly — expects them to be cuddled up soon. It's a blanket nest.
Leon will come in after a moment and chuff and invite himself up here, too.]
...I don't think you're any of the things she said you are, for what it's worth.
no subject
What, that I'm not Seaborn? [ A soft, strained laugh. ] …It's alright. She has every right to be upset with me. We did do all of those things. Iberians call it "the Profound Silence". "Worse than any Catastrophe, any war — the greatest tragedy to befall Terra."
Isn't that what monsters cause?
no subject
[Elsword knows Mizuki won't understand if he just leaves it there, so he tries to scrape the bottom of the barrel of his memory for an anecdote. Eventually, he settles on:]
My friends Lu and Ciel are demons. Demons contributed to the destruction of Velder back home. But it wasn't them who did it, it was others in their race. The Fire Master is half-demon. He's trying to save the world, not destroy it.
...my friend Ain has done some pretty horrible stuff, for an angel. He's hurting, and so he hurts others, and I usually had to stop him from doing those things. I'm an angel now, too. Do you think I deserve to be lumped in with people who did horrible things, just because we're the same race?
no subject
[ He… shouldn't be telling this to Elsword. It's not fair, when they're stuck together like this. He's going to leave, isn't he? ]
It would not be like if you, an angel, were judged on the behalf of all angels, it would be more like if your fingers would be judged for being part of "Elsword". We are a collective, all merely extensions of the firstborn.
…
Sometimes it's hard to differentiate "their" thoughts from "mine". It's why I have such a hard time picking the right options. Listening to them can be… an issue.
no subject
[yeah sorry you're not gonna change his mind that easily. It's Elsword. Once he likes you, it takes a lot to change that.]
I'm not talking to We Many. I'm talking to my friend, "Mizuki". If there's no singular "you", then why do "you" have a name? You just said you have your own thoughts, too. Can I just talk to "Mizuki"?
[...]
Mizuki. [Elsword takes Mizuki's hands in his. Are they cold? His sure are.] Did you cause the Profound Silence? You as in Mizuki. Just you. Were you there to destroy Miss Irene's home?
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… But We suppose corruption is not incorrect, either? [ Hhh… he doesn't like that thought. He coils some of his tendrils around Elsword and simply holds him closer. Hi, you're not getting away anymore. He won't allow it. ]
The Mizuki you've been talking to has always been part of the Swarm since you've known Us. And ever since I was seven. I was saved. We saved. I was definitely going to bleed out that night, but We gave a second chance at life.
… That said, I was born far after the Silence ever happened.
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Elsword's shoulders sag with relief. The tentacles winding around him are welcome, like a slimy hug, and Elsword returns the touch in his own way — cupping Mizuki's face in his hands, looking into his eyes, and sighing.]
I knew "you" weren't a bad person. [He murmurs quietly in the gloom, or, well, what little there is considering both of them glow in the dark.] It's not your fault. The current... You Many [no] didn't do it. Maybe you guys did in the past, but you guys... You Many [elsword] didn't do it when Mizuki was with you. And Mizuki didn't do anything wrong.
[For what it's worth, Elsword manages a thin, forced smile.]
She called you— Mizuki— a monster. I still think she's wrong for that, when you had nothing to do with it.
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…It doesn't really… [ How to say, "I see you, I love you, you're a bit dumb" but in a Mizuki kind of way- He should probably just let this slide because he has no idea how to explain this to someone who can't understand. ] It's a lot more complicated than I'm explaining it to be... sorry.
She has every right to be angry. The Inquisition has opposed Us since their conception, and she is very devout. Even if her perception isn't entirely clear or correct, We lied. To avoid conflict, sure, but it is a lie all the same.
Please don't be upset with her.
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This is fine, though. He can run his thumbs over Mizuki's knuckles and look down at their intertwined hands and wonder why Mizuki simply wants the world to be mad at him. Why Irene is mad at him. In a way, he supposes he gets it. Lots of Elrians are demon-racist even though Not All Demons destroyed kingdoms and waged wars. Lots of Elrians are half-elf racist for no discernable reason. Someone gets wronged once, and that's it; that entire population of people are now the enemy.
It's not a very forward way of thinking, though. That's Elsword's entire problem with it.]
...no. I'm going to be upset with her. I haven't been that angry in a long time, and that's her fault, because of what she did.
[In a way, that feeling of unbridled rage is a good thing. It means that all hope isn't lost for Elsword being his own person somehow, in all of this. In a way, it's also a terrible thing, but he really and truly draws the line at someone close to him being hurt, and Irene has a penchant thus far for attacking Elsword's favourite people. Is it a reflection on who he chooses to spend time with, or a reflection on her? Both?
Those aren't questions he wants to answer right now.]
She hurt you. She called you a monster in front of everybody. She accused you of doing things you didn't do, even though you've been nothing but kind the whole time. [And though he missed what Lancer was saying as they were leaving, know that Elsword can and will shove a man through a window.] She doesn't see you how I see you. It doesn't give her the right to slice you with her sword and accuse you of terrible things you weren't even around for.
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But he doesn't want to leave Elsword or Add behind. He's pretty sure if they hated him, it might actually crush his heart.
Elsword's cold fingers run over his knuckles and Mizuki just ends up staring at their hands for a while. Part of him wants to fuss over Elsword, tell him that it's way too cold and that he really needs to keep exposed skin under the blankets. They might not have a space heater, but Mizuki can go grab his undying lantern for some amount of heat, maybe? That would require moving, though, so… nevermind. That's off the table.
The part of him that wins is the part that is all too observant of how Elsword's skin feels. How rough his fingers are, yet how gentle the touch is anyway. How much smaller Mizuki’s hands are than his, and somehow how perfectly that means they fit. Mizuki’s hands aren’t warm by any means either, but there’s still something incredibly sweet about this that makes it feel like they are. He squeezes Elsword’s hands then very gingerly guides them under the covers once he’s realized he’s been staring for far too long. ]
…I was never in any danger. She didn’t explain herself well back there — she just wanted to know the color of Our blood. If it was red, she wouldn’t have reacted that way. She even would’ve apologized…
…Elsword, we all see people differently. Our experiences shape us. You are a hero, you want to see the best in people. You see good in Us.
Were it up to Us, We would fix that Illuminous Phenomenon for you, too.
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Mizuki, you’ve been going about this all wrong. Talking it down, negotiating, trying to make people happy with diplomacy… Elsword is different. His emotions aren’t there — We can fix that. We can fix that corruption, too. All of it.
…
He leans in, as if he didn’t just get onto Elsword for getting to close moments again so he could press his forehead against Elsword’s. ]
We could make you feel things again, Elsword. It wouldn’t be hard, and we’d always be together so we’d never have to worry about the forest being in your head anymore…
[ The tendrils are squeezing Elsword perhaps a little uncomfortably. Nothing too tight, but certainly enough that it’s not quite a nice hug anymore.
A couple tentacles lick over Elsword’s neck and cheeks. ]
Would you like that?
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[Mizuki's forehead presses to his, and Elsword freezes up. His hands stop moving along Mizuki's, warming under the blankets. He swears for a moment he stops breathing, the world coming to a standstill. The sound of the storm outside their window is a distant, static din, and Elsword's previously-dim halo lights up just a touch more. It's no flashbang. It's certainly not going to blind the two of them while they sit together and breathe in short, quick breaths between them, warm air that comes out in puffs of white due to the ambient chill.
Somehow, Elsword doesn't feel much colder. Is it the three comforters, the lion, or Mizuki that's making that true? It's probably all three, but he prefers to think, in this instance, it's just Mizuki.]
I don't think I'll ever be normal. Between you, Add, and the mirror, maybe I'll be okay, but nothing's gonna come back full-strength. I accepted that. And I accept your offer to join you, too. But I still feel a little here and there, like getting mad at Irene, and...
[The tentacles on his neck tickle his skin. Elsword takes a deep breath, unbothered, and resolutely squeezes Mizuki's hands in his. So soft, so pretty, so delicate even though he knows Mizuki is far from it.
His eye flutters shut.]
...I figured out what love feels like, too.
[...]
That day you kissed me, I wasn't rejecting you, by the way. I just wanted to wait to see if Add would be okay if we included another person.
[Elsword brushes their noses together briefly, then... then he tilts his head, but he doesn't move much further. There's the slimmest space between them, a hair's breadth, enough space so that he can feel the air leaving Mizuki's lungs and nothing more.]
Stop me now if I'm about to go too far, Mizuki.
cw: biting
He wants to laugh and tease him and let him know they can take baby steps. To tell him to talk to Add. To tell him to ask to join the experiment he's working on with regards to that. But he doesn't get the chance to when Elsword just keeps going, and brings up that he understands love. Immediately after, he talks about when Mizuki kissed him.
…
This breaks Mizuki, really. The tentacles loosen a bit on him. Why would Elsword bring that up at all? He seems to be going from Point A to Point F without the other steps in between, right? Why are those correlated. There was a pause, right? Maybe he was just moving on from that part of the conversation. Mizuki hadn't even put his two cents in yet, but- ah. Included another person, what? …Him?
……………………………………Huh?????
Whatever weird, unhinged shit Mizuki was about to start spewing about Elsword's perfection and joining the hivemind is promptly caught in his throat. He could try to laugh this off. What is he thinking? He's Add's. Why would he be in love with anyone else? Add's perfect - he's perfect. Mizuki isn't. He doesn't want to cause any more problems, after all. He's done enough of that tonight.
But Elsword is so close, and Mizuki's heartbeat is drowning out even We Many's thoughts at this point. He takes in a shaky breath in an attempt to say something, but…? He doesn't know how to respond. Stop him? Stop him??? He should, but…??? But??????????
…
There's no warning when Mizuki moves from in front of Elsword into his collar instead. There's even less warning when his teeth pierce and dig into the flesh there. ]
biting thread 2 electric boogaloo (no one read this)
Ow—
[Elsword sucks in a sharp breath, squeezing Mizuki's hands in his a little tighter on instinct. He didn't forget that those teeth were razors, but man, it feels like he's being reminded all of a sudden. Mizuki just has knives in his mouth. That's fine.
Eventually, the pain starts to ebb, and Elsword exhales a low, stuttered sigh. It's just a pinch now. It'll hurt when he takes his teeth out, but for now...
For now, Elsword can feel hot blood dripping over his skin, pooling against his collarbone before soaking into his shirt. Ah, that's gonna be a pain to get out... maybe he won't even bother. Maybe he'll just keep this shirt for a rag or something next time he inevitably gets injured, or he'll cut the bloody parts out of it and turn it into a balled-up rag for Leon. Heimr seems to have plenty of plain shirts in the store, after all.]
...take your time. I'm not goin' anywhere.
[no bro you super are not because Moder will shove you back in through your window]
idk it's fine at least he's not being horny abt it like SOME ppl
So, okay, biting is just going to have to be a consequence he deals with later. Besides, Elsword's so warm, and his skin is so soft, and Mizuki just sort of melts against him as he rests his teeth where they are. Sorry for the hurt, Elsword. But, look at the bright side, you'll have such a pretty scar there. This seems to be what Mizuki thinks, anyway. Something so lovely from Mizuki to never forget him by. A mark on his collar like it's a page in a journal, rather than literal teeth digging into his skin.
Realistically, though? At the end of this, it doesn't help Mizuki come to a conclusion. Rather, the only thing that comes out of this is a bite wound on Elsword and a very blue face on Mizuki. His face is incredibly hot, it's a wonder steam isn't coming off to combat the cold. Mizuki doesn't pull his teeth out slowly, knowing that would hurt more than just pulling them our quickly. Sorry, he still doesn't know how to use the moon magic to heal properly yet, Elsword. He can bandage that after his stupid stammering. ]
…I don't want to stop you. [ Cool, okay, good start. ] But- But I can't let you get in trouble because… because of something like this. Of me. I-I'm not… [ Important. ] …But I don't… I don't know what the right thing to do is…
[ Hhhh… ]
Sorry. I'm sorry. Let me go get bandages.
idk bro he might be-
[
lavvy said it was okaythey're going to be hiveminded soonElsword is weirdly confident in that assertion, in fact. He's pretty sure they're not about to be chastised. He's like, pretty sure Add would also kiss Mizuki on the mouth, the only problem being he's Add and Add can be a little squirrelly about relationships. But they're not talking about Add right now. They are talking about the hole in Elsword's goddamn shoulder, still bleeding steadily....
Yeah, he'll live. That's not enough blood loss to kill him.]
Sorry. If nothing else happens between us, that's fine, but at least let me get this out of my system first.
["Get what out of your system, Elsword?" one might ask, and it's too late, because Elsword surges forward to grab Mizuki's face, freeing his hands from under the blankets, and pulls him into a languid but firm kiss.
There's still blood on Mizuki's lips that drips into Elsword's mouth, a sharp copper tang, sloppy and wet and gross. None of that deters him, though. None of it. He has to kiss Mizuki while he's still got an emotion in his chest or he thinks he's gonna fucking explode.]
no he's just in love Wolfie—
I'm not a hero. I mess everything up. You deserve so much better.
Mizuki doesn't air any of these concerns because he knows damn well he wants Elsword to kiss him. If he says it's okay, then isn't it okay? He just wants Elsword to be happy. He just wishes he were any good at making people happy, is all.
There's still blood on his lips, and he's sure he'd been drooling while his teeth were attached to Elsword, too. He's a mess, he feels like crying, and their lips don't find purchase on one another very well.
And yet, Mizuki is completely enamored, anyway.
Elsword will feel the tentacles writhe against him, coming to life with Mizuki's adoration, and maybe if he pays attention to the feeling he'll notice they're tracing little hearts against Elsword. And, well, the kiss gets mildly better when Mizuki finally melts against him and actually returns it. Somehow, despite their first kiss being way better in terms of… well, literally almost everything — they weren't freezing, Elsword's hands weren't cold, while their was still "wet gooey mess" on them, it 1) wasn't blood and 2) wasn't really on their face, Mizuki wasn't being a complete idiot about it, and there was some… "tact" to it — it still paled in comparison to this one. Almost certainly because of the absolute delight Mizuki's drowning in, and the fact that he's not going to freak out when Elsword pulls away.
And, yes, when Elsword pulls away, because as far as Mizuki's concerned, he can just stay like this for the rest of the night, thanks. Hope Elsword is fine with getting cocooned for the hundredth time this month because the tendrils are not letting him go. Someone should've told Elsword that when Mizuki catches you, he's simply stuck there forever.
This will only prove to a problem in due time. ]
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He kisses Mizuki with renewed fervour, clinging with equal intensity, minus the extra limbs of course. Maybe it's too far, to slip his tongue beyond Mizuki's lips and kiss him like this. Maybe he shouldn't lick his own blood out of Mizuki's mouth, but fuck if he hasn't tasted it before from the amount of times he's been punched in the mouth, fuck if he wasn't spitting it up the other day when he and Wolfwood beat each other up. He can't bring himself to care about the details when all he wants to do is kiss Mizuki stupid.
Oxygen, though, is still necessary. They part with a wet "pop", blood and saliva smeared over the both of them, and Elsword bonks their foreheads together in an affectionate gesture.]
You're still not a monster to me, [he finally says.] I wouldn't kiss you like that if I thought you were.
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It's not fair, though, is it? Elsword doesn't understand what Mizuki is. Elsword probably feels better abound Mizuki without knowing why. How cruel, then, that he's allowing this. How cruel that he doesn't want to stop. How cruel, how cruel. Mizuki knows full well all these thoughts are his own, too, since We Many has absolutely 0 stake in romantic endeavors. Unless he intends to make Elsword part of the Swarm, anyway, We're just going to stay mostly silent. Which is honestly probably worse, since it means Mizuki has to figure this out quite literally on his own. He doesn't know how.
You're still not a monster to me, he says. I know, Mizuki wants to say back. To be fair, Mizuki also doesn't truly think he's a monster — he believes We Many to be people just as much as anyone else here or on Terra. They are simply treated poorly because of a very unfortunate series of events. But he'd be lying if he didn't feel like one right now. And he'd also be lying if he thought that he couldn't do something completely heinous at this point and have Elsword think any less of him. It's what heroes do, right? They just see good in people and want to believe the best in them.
Maybe he doesn't have to think that hard about it, actually. Maybe he just has to accept that Elsword is happy, and therefore he should try his best to keep that going. That's all Mizuki wanted, anyway — for the people he cares about to be happy.
So he's going to nudge Elsword on his back so the blood can stop oozing from his collar like that and drag the three comforters with him on top, and after wiping away the blood on his lips, he licks clean the remnants on Elsword's. Only when it's gone does he press a passionate, less bloody kiss against him. ]
crashes in here
Add is here now (by proxy). Mizuki's tracking data updated awhile ago, but he still hasn't reported the meeting results! And Add could just ask for an update and politely wait, sure, but how is he supposed to do that when Mizuki's physical record is showing he's been stabbed?? As a result, there is only a brief pause between Add pinging in for a checkup and deciding to simply patch himself in to the hivemind. Dynamo is still acting as his VPN, but there's a distinct Add-ness to how the AI spreads their mental tendrils, mindful of the Many while still shameless prodding at Mizuki's private thoughts. Prying for information, Elsword, the taste of blood, conflicting emotion—
It's a lot to process, but he can multitask. Concern is etched into his message, not quite a command (he can find it himself, if need be).
Meeting? Status report? Injury? On my way. Layered in the data is Add's own tracking information. He's already halfway out the lab door on a beeline to their house, Dynamo will arrive first by a small margin. Mizuki has approximately 2 minutes to explain.]
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He relays back to Add: I'm okay. Got hurt, but it's healed over mostly. Just a small cut. Learned about the shards. I can halt the forest's corruption in Elsword now, though I can't get rid of it. Most of the other information is stuff we knew from the prior meeting. I mentioned something I shouldn't have, though, and it made Irene question if I was Aegir. She cut me to see if my blood was blue. I don't think she intended to really hurt me.
Elsword got upset that Irene cut me, and there was a lot of yelling, so I brought him home away from the Inn. I was a little upset about being outed as Seaborn in front of everyone, and she had said some very upsetting — if correct — things about me, so my emotions got the better of me.
Things sort of escalated. I kissed Elsword…
…Sorry I let my emotions get way too ahead of me. ]
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that's it that's the tag]
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no, okay, slow down. The stream of communication suddenly cuts out, if only for a second. Think logically. Mizuki is being truthful right now, just like before. Apologetic, even. He's not a threat to Add.
Focus on the facts. He'll be there shortly, regardless.
Communication resumes, slightly calmer than before. He's prying less, trying not to show his own uncertainty.
Noted. Is Irene a threat? (if she is, he'll kill her, he's unwilling to lose someone as valuable as Mizuki) Re: Elsword, who initiated?
There's something in the signal that echoes of "this is Elsword's fault" without meaning to, he just knows it must be.]
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While Mizuki was absolutely on board with lying and saying it's his fault, it's not so easy to filter out his thoughts, so… uh, oh well! Probably better in the long run, anyway. He shouldn't be keeping secrets from his commander like that.
Not a threat. He did. Then I did? I bit him and so the first kiss was all bloody and I felt bad about it because I didn't want it to be a horrible kiss—
sorry. It's not his fault, I didn't stop him.
Just… you know, gonna climb off of Elsword now. Sorry, buddy. ] Add is… um. Add's on his way over.
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[Elsword has no fucking idea he's about to be in goddamn trouble, so:]
I was hoping he'd get out of the lab at some—
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