[ Mizuki is too flustered and noncommittal to anything, so he doesn't immediately respond to being kissed. Which is a shame, since he is fully expecting it at this point. He's so close to pushing Elsword away from him. He's so close to telling Elsword that he's really not anyone to have feelings for.
I'm not a hero. I mess everything up. You deserve so much better.
Mizuki doesn't air any of these concerns because he knows damn well he wants Elsword to kiss him. If he says it's okay, then isn't it okay? He just wants Elsword to be happy. He just wishes he were any good at making people happy, is all.
There's still blood on his lips, and he's sure he'd been drooling while his teeth were attached to Elsword, too. He's a mess, he feels like crying, and their lips don't find purchase on one another very well.
And yet, Mizuki is completely enamored, anyway.
Elsword will feel the tentacles writhe against him, coming to life with Mizuki's adoration, and maybe if he pays attention to the feeling he'll notice they're tracing little hearts against Elsword. And, well, the kiss gets mildly better when Mizuki finally melts against him and actually returns it. Somehow, despite their first kiss being way better in terms of… well, literally almost everything — they weren't freezing, Elsword's hands weren't cold, while their was still "wet gooey mess" on them, it 1) wasn't blood and 2) wasn't really on their face, Mizuki wasn't being a complete idiot about it, and there was some… "tact" to it — it still paled in comparison to this one. Almost certainly because of the absolute delight Mizuki's drowning in, and the fact that he's not going to freak out when Elsword pulls away.
And, yes, when Elsword pulls away, because as far as Mizuki's concerned, he can just stay like this for the rest of the night, thanks. Hope Elsword is fine with getting cocooned for the hundredth time this month because the tendrils are not letting him go. Someone should've told Elsword that when Mizuki catches you, he's simply stuck there forever.
This will only prove to a problem in due time. ]
Edited (I added a fuck ton of stuff because I wasn't happy w it-) 2023-12-21 14:41 (UTC)
[Problem? What problem? They're going to hivemind and it'll be great. Then they'll all conclusively know what's going on with the others — Elsword will know when Mizuki and Add disappear into the woods and when they're in danger and when they're safe. He'll know when they're happy or sad without having to ask. He can be there for them better than he can be now.
He kisses Mizuki with renewed fervour, clinging with equal intensity, minus the extra limbs of course. Maybe it's too far, to slip his tongue beyond Mizuki's lips and kiss him like this. Maybe he shouldn't lick his own blood out of Mizuki's mouth, but fuck if he hasn't tasted it before from the amount of times he's been punched in the mouth, fuck if he wasn't spitting it up the other day when he and Wolfwood beat each other up. He can't bring himself to care about the details when all he wants to do is kiss Mizuki stupid.
Oxygen, though, is still necessary. They part with a wet "pop", blood and saliva smeared over the both of them, and Elsword bonks their foreheads together in an affectionate gesture.]
You're still not a monster to me, [he finally says.] I wouldn't kiss you like that if I thought you were.
[ The Yandere Problem. Times two considering the boys he's picked, but… for right now, Mizuki's at least trying to put some distance. Mentally, that is. Physically, with how he's trying to pull Elsword against him tighter even though they're flush against one another, it's like he's trying to figure out how to meld with Elsword. And, mentally… well, he's doing everything to convince himself this is a bad idea. He's not sure why, this is something he wants and something Elsword wants, so everything should be alright. Maybe it's because tonight had been hellish and his mental is in shambles? Maybe he still just has such an immense loyalty to Add that not having his direct okay is causing issues? Maybe Mizuki's anxiety is just spiking for no reason?? Unclear.
It's not fair, though, is it? Elsword doesn't understand what Mizuki is. Elsword probably feels better abound Mizuki without knowing why. How cruel, then, that he's allowing this. How cruel that he doesn't want to stop. How cruel, how cruel. Mizuki knows full well all these thoughts are his own, too, since We Many has absolutely 0 stake in romantic endeavors. Unless he intends to make Elsword part of the Swarm, anyway, We're just going to stay mostly silent. Which is honestly probably worse, since it means Mizuki has to figure this out quite literally on his own. He doesn't know how.
You're still not a monster to me, he says. I know, Mizuki wants to say back. To be fair, Mizuki also doesn't truly think he's a monster — he believes We Many to be people just as much as anyone else here or on Terra. They are simply treated poorly because of a very unfortunate series of events. But he'd be lying if he didn't feel like one right now. And he'd also be lying if he thought that he couldn't do something completely heinous at this point and have Elsword think any less of him. It's what heroes do, right? They just see good in people and want to believe the best in them.
Maybe he doesn't have to think that hard about it, actually. Maybe he just has to accept that Elsword is happy, and therefore he should try his best to keep that going. That's all Mizuki wanted, anyway — for the people he cares about to be happy.
So he's going to nudge Elsword on his back so the blood can stop oozing from his collar like that and drag the three comforters with him on top, and after wiping away the blood on his lips, he licks clean the remnants on Elsword's. Only when it's gone does he press a passionate, less bloody kiss against him. ]
[somewhere between romantically licking the blood off Elsword's lips and going in for a round two, there is a familiar mental ping
Add is here now (by proxy). Mizuki's tracking data updated awhile ago, but he still hasn't reported the meeting results! And Add could just ask for an update and politely wait, sure, but how is he supposed to do that when Mizuki's physical record is showing he's been stabbed?? As a result, there is only a brief pause between Add pinging in for a checkup and deciding to simply patch himself in to the hivemind. Dynamo is still acting as his VPN, but there's a distinct Add-ness to how the AI spreads their mental tendrils, mindful of the Many while still shameless prodding at Mizuki's private thoughts. Prying for information, Elsword, the taste of blood, conflicting emotion—
It's a lot to process, but he can multitask. Concern is etched into his message, not quite a command (he can find it himself, if need be).
Meeting? Status report? Injury? On my way. Layered in the data is Add's own tracking information. He's already halfway out the lab door on a beeline to their house, Dynamo will arrive first by a small margin. Mizuki has approximately 2 minutes to explain.]
[ There's a mental keysmash as Mizuki pulls away from the kiss and also presses his hands on Elsword's face like hi, sorry, we're done kissing, actually. ~*Romance*~. This is for the best, honestly, since Mizuki was seconds away from going to bite some of those flowers out of Elsword's eye—
He relays back to Add: I'm okay. Got hurt, but it's healed over mostly. Just a small cut. Learned about the shards. I can halt the forest's corruption in Elsword now, though I can't get rid of it. Most of the other information is stuff we knew from the prior meeting. I mentioned something I shouldn't have, though, and it made Irene question if I was Aegir. She cut me to see if my blood was blue. I don't think she intended to really hurt me.
Elsword got upset that Irene cut me, and there was a lot of yelling, so I brought him home away from the Inn. I was a little upset about being outed as Seaborn in front of everyone, and she had said some very upsetting — if correct — things about me, so my emotions got the better of me.
Things sort of escalated. I kissed Elsword…
…Sorry I let my emotions get way too ahead of me. ]
[There's a vague sense of confirmation as Add reviews each detail given... once, up until "things sort of escalated", at which point he starts triple checking and re-reviewing and is he prying again? can he tell if Mizuki is lying? is he hiding anything, can he get the raw data out, can he pick apart the emotions and reactions and see exactly how Elsword is looking back right at this moment if he's a threat if—
no, okay, slow down. The stream of communication suddenly cuts out, if only for a second. Think logically. Mizuki is being truthful right now, just like before. Apologetic, even. He's not a threat to Add.
Focus on the facts. He'll be there shortly, regardless.
Communication resumes, slightly calmer than before. He's prying less, trying not to show his own uncertainty.
Noted. Is Irene a threat? (if she is, he'll kill her, he's unwilling to lose someone as valuable as Mizuki) Re: Elsword, who initiated?
There's something in the signal that echoes of "this is Elsword's fault" without meaning to, he just knows it must be.]
[ Everything is pretty easy to get to on Mizuki's end. He's quite literally Add's open book so "prying" might be way too aggressive of a word. Of course he isn't lying. If he's omitting anything, it's less because he's trying to and more because time constraints and his fluster makes it really hard to think completely clear in that moment. But, hey, at least matters of the heart don't interest We Many any. So, in that regard, We are completely silent.
While Mizuki was absolutely on board with lying and saying it's his fault, it's not so easy to filter out his thoughts, so… uh, oh well! Probably better in the long run, anyway. He shouldn't be keeping secrets from his commander like that.
Not a threat. He did. Then I did? I bit him and so the first kiss was all bloody and I felt bad about it because I didn't want it to be a horrible kiss—
sorry. It's not his fault, I didn't stop him.
Just… you know, gonna climb off of Elsword now. Sorry, buddy. ] Add is… um. Add's on his way over.
Hello! He has arrived!! There is wind and snow howling out of that hole and also Add's arm. He brushes some of the glass off the windowsill before delicately, somewhat pointlessly, unlocking the window... and then pulling it open normally. He then steps off his remaining dynamos like this is a normal way to enter a building.
There is no time to address the glass on the floor, the snow blowing in and falling off Add's shoulders, how they are going to repair that window tonight, priority number one—]
So, what happened to talking to me first? Or is that only when it's convenient for you?! [the needles are out and boy are there sparks lighting up this room right now, he's Pissed, answer carefully
(after a slight delay, there's still a response to Mizuki's inquiries, because Dynamo is a very good secretary: Noted. Noted. No apology required. Handling it. Please hold.)]
[ Mizuki, who's been hiveminded with Add for a little bit now, and who has been waiting for this for like a month, is more than certain that it's Science Emotion and not Love Emotion, probably. He doesn't even bat a lash at that. Instead, he seems more concerned with Elsword sitting up. Also the glass? It's like sub-zero temps outside, Add—
Cold? The bed's warm. I'll grab bandages for Elsword.
And maybe it's also an excuse to get out of here, but he'll worm himself away to go get some disinfectant and such for Elsword's bite wound. ]
[Anger gives way to fluster, as much as he tries not to let it show... but really, it's not about Mizuki. It's about how little Elsword seems to care about kissing whoever he pleases. What does that make Add? If he's not special, if it really is just how Elsword treats everyone... what's he supposed to feel, if Elsword could live without him? If he could one day move on?
His eye flicks over to Mizuki... and he hisses out a sigh, folding his arms tightly to his chest. Dynamo hums loudly to combat the blowing cold.
I'll fix it, followed by a mental map of exactly which corner of which drawer he keeps the first aid supplies. Traces of something bitter leak through, emotions he can't quite strip away. Not completely.]
... Is it because I'm too busy? You don't see me enough? If it's too difficult to come to the lab—if you said something before I could've made different plans, but I can still make adjustments. Am I not doing something correctly? Just tell me what it is, and I'll fix it.
[he's not good enough, that must be why Elsword sought out affection from Mizuki... but he can still fix it. he can be better.]
Add, I'm not... a needy person. I'm pretty sure, anyway. [Usually you can just set Elsword down and let him be around people, and that's good enough for him. He's like a chinchilla.] If you're busy, you're busy, but that doesn't mean I love you less. I bring you food and try to drag you home when you and Mr. Gnosis are sleeping on the desks in the lab...
[Chinhands, with his... uh... good hand...? "Good"?]
...I wouldn't do that if I didn't care.
[...]
I'm not trying to... betray you or anything like that. Add— you're good enough for me. You don't have to change or do anything differently. Keep doing what you're doing, it's my fault for being impulsive. I thought you'd be okay with...
[ Well, at the very least Mizuki is very swift in gathering what he needs to get back to Elsword. He… feels a little bad. He shouldn't be running from this and letting them deal with it. He knows what they're like, after all. Mizuki is just emotionally drained from the meeting, so it's really hard for him to pile this on, too, but…
He really loves Elsword. He knows that now. And he'd be lying if he said he didn't have similar feelings for Add. He'll swallow those swiftly in favor of "casually" feeding his thoughts into mindlink. Specifically that of when he got a little ahead of himself. He'd mentioned being able to take away that pain and simply have Elsword become One with him. How that could make it so Elsword could feel things easier like that. Admittedly, at the time, he was absolutely thinking about the Seaborn, but… is becoming One not also this link he has with Add?
A thought, then, if Elsword said yes to that — and he did — would he not be willing to hear Add out for that idea?
…Just some food for thought~.
He comes back with the first aid materials and brings them over to Add before the two of them start arguing because of something he did for a second time… ]
[You're good enough for me, he says, but Add can't be satisfied with such a simple answer. Humans are no different from machines, programming and circuits replaced with chemicals and flesh—everything can be calculated, predicted, cause and effect, why would impulses be any different? Craving a food because your body can sense its deficiencies, is that not the same as seeking out affection? Is it something he misunderstood? Is it because he never officially agreed that they were dating?
Everything tangles in his chest, trying to grasp what words to say, how to make Elsword do what he wants... but he's also multitasking, and suddenly that secondary task is a lot more important he agreed to what now
There is an intensity behind Add's gaze, staring down Elsword like he just said something completely insane (he did, kind of). Dynamo draws in around him, crackling sparks. It's... less threatening, somehow. More defensive. Nervous.
... Elsword didn't know what he was saying yes to, though, and that's so like him to agree blindly without understanding the situation, but... another moment comes to mind, I wish you could feel how I felt about you.
there is a feeling of hhrrrhghgh in the depths of the hivemind]
Let me see your shoulder. [briskly clearing the gap from the bed to the window, don't change the subject? sorry, that was only for Elsword, Add is allowed to change the subject, he's going to heal this first. Mizuki pass him the fucking bandages]
[Elsword about to say something like "I'm sorry" and then Add flips the topic and he just... he has learnt by now to shut his fucking mouth before he wrecks shit, so yeah, here's his shoulder. The bite has gone through the fabric of his shirt, and he's no longer bleeding, but it obviously hasn't scabbed over. One sharp movement is going to make it bleed all over again.
There is also blood on his lips from where he was licking it out of Mizuki's mouth like a fucking freak, don't... don't worry about that, okay.]
It's not that bad. It's like the last time I got bitten.
[Man who gets bitten on the daily by his freak-ass friend group: it's fine they're not actually rabid]
[ The bandages are absolutely handed over, but there is an incredibly long stare at Add after the fact. He expected excitement or… something positive that wasn't this… conflicted?? He supposes he was also conflicted when Elsword said yes, but that was because, you know, Elsword was saying stuff about why he cared about Mizuki and stuff??
Please, he just wants to fix this. He doesn't want them to fight. He's sorry, truly. Tonight was just… hard on him, emotionally. People finding out that he's a monsterfreak Seaborn meant that there was a lot of self-deprecating stuff running through his head. Nothing he believes, of course, but that didn't mean it wasn't there, briefly. A lapse in judgement. It felt nice to be wanted. To be loved. He wants to kiss Elsword again and hold his hands, but if Add doesn't want that, he won't.
But what he won't let slide by is this. Being One with both his heroes???? Absolutely not. So after Add has the bandages, Mizuki looks directly at Elsword, and very bluntly tells him what he was hoping Add would: ]
If you could have us both be in your head, and you got to feel all the stuff we feel without it just being the bad, you would want that, wouldn't you?
[he was so close to ignoring his problems and complaining about Elsword's weird bitewound magnetism instead and then Mizuki says That
Add sputters like an old motor. There are alarms blaring in his mind, and over the mindlink there is a resounding WHY ARE YOU TELLING HIM THAT? This is NOT part of the plan! This isn't part of any plan!! What the fuck!! He wasn't ready for this!!!
In his panic he spills half the bottle of disinfectant onto Elsword's wound. It is for sure disinfected now, at least.]
[The disinfectant gets dunked on him and Elsword hisses out in pain, brief, before his eye settles back on Mizuki. Then they look to Add, then to Mizuki again, and he nods once.]
Yeah. Then I could keep tabs on you guys when you go into the woods next. [Normal behaviour.] And then Add can know that I think he's perfect the way he is, and Mizuki can know I don't think he's a monster like Irene does. So yeah.
I want to feel the stuff that makes you guys happy, too.
[He has half an idea what he's agreeing to here, but it caught Add off-guard... has Mizuki already offered for Add to join We Many, maybe? That would make sense, since hiveminds are supposed to add more... minds... to the hive. Or something like that.]
[ There's a brief moment where Mizuki moves forward to ? help Elsword? in some capacity after the disinfectant is spilled, but he knows there's not much to be done on the matter now. Sorry. He should've waited until Add was done with the painful part…
You are, unfortunately, not the first person to intensely yell in Mizuki's mind, Add. Though, admittedly, the fact that this is yelling and not eldritch shrieking means he's at least a little more sympathetic. But also? He adores you, Add, and has a disgusting amount of loyalty towards you, yet right now even he thinks you're being far too anxious.
Please listen to Elsword. It's important to hear about his wants, too. That's kind of the whole point of being in a relationship. ]
So you would want that? To be with us, to have our thoughts with yours, our emotions together, a oneness and complete integration with one another?
[Elsword please understand what you're asking for challenge.]
As much as it sucked to feel only people's bad emotions that one month, [whatever month that was, it was one of them, Elsword has lost track,] I was... okay with it, in a weird way. It let me know you were safe, and I was able to find Mizuki when he was injured. Stuff like that.
[It goes back to Elsword's need to Constantly protect other people, even if it'll be actively detrimental to his wellbeing. How is he supposed to jump in front of a bullet if he can't find y'all? Checkmate, atheists.]
It's not that simple. Do you ever think before speaking?
[He'd fallen quiet, between the shock and the disbelief, but he regains his composure enough to interject. Is this exchange, is Elsword's consent supposed to make him happy? Can it be that easy? All he had to do was ask?
Of course not. He sighs, exasperated, and roughly pulls down Elsword's shirt to access the shoulder. This is faster (and less distracting) than making his strip. He is going to treat this bitewound, thanks...]
Ignoring the risks that come with invasive surgery, complications and rejection by the body, having to adapt to a new method of communication that may be uncomfortable or difficult to use... modifications of this nature are permanent, I would hope you'd ask more questions before impulsively agreeing to something you don't understand. There won't be any "changing your mind" later.
[There's more. He knows there's more, but he still hesitates, staring down as he wraps the wound... he's thought about this one. There are a few different approaches he can take, he doesn't have to say anything at all, but is it better if he can explain it away with a good excuse? That leaves less risk in the long term, right? He doesn't have to lie about it. He can be more honest about why it has to stay a secret... he may even be able to test it openly. But there's always a risk. If Elsword gets suspicious, disagrees, blurts it out to someone by mistake...
he shouldn't say it at all. it could be his trump card. something no one could expect, not even the Forest.
... ah, the Forest can hear through him, can't it? maybe... it would even think of this as a mistake. allowing Elsword into their minds, and it by extension...]
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mooninthewater) wrote2023-08-16 12:10 pm
no he's just in love Wolfie—
I'm not a hero. I mess everything up. You deserve so much better.
Mizuki doesn't air any of these concerns because he knows damn well he wants Elsword to kiss him. If he says it's okay, then isn't it okay? He just wants Elsword to be happy. He just wishes he were any good at making people happy, is all.
There's still blood on his lips, and he's sure he'd been drooling while his teeth were attached to Elsword, too. He's a mess, he feels like crying, and their lips don't find purchase on one another very well.
And yet, Mizuki is completely enamored, anyway.
Elsword will feel the tentacles writhe against him, coming to life with Mizuki's adoration, and maybe if he pays attention to the feeling he'll notice they're tracing little hearts against Elsword. And, well, the kiss gets mildly better when Mizuki finally melts against him and actually returns it. Somehow, despite their first kiss being way better in terms of… well, literally almost everything — they weren't freezing, Elsword's hands weren't cold, while their was still "wet gooey mess" on them, it 1) wasn't blood and 2) wasn't really on their face, Mizuki wasn't being a complete idiot about it, and there was some… "tact" to it — it still paled in comparison to this one. Almost certainly because of the absolute delight Mizuki's drowning in, and the fact that he's not going to freak out when Elsword pulls away.
And, yes, when Elsword pulls away, because as far as Mizuki's concerned, he can just stay like this for the rest of the night, thanks. Hope Elsword is fine with getting cocooned for the hundredth time this month because the tendrils are not letting him go. Someone should've told Elsword that when Mizuki catches you, he's simply stuck there forever.
This will only prove to a problem in due time. ]
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He kisses Mizuki with renewed fervour, clinging with equal intensity, minus the extra limbs of course. Maybe it's too far, to slip his tongue beyond Mizuki's lips and kiss him like this. Maybe he shouldn't lick his own blood out of Mizuki's mouth, but fuck if he hasn't tasted it before from the amount of times he's been punched in the mouth, fuck if he wasn't spitting it up the other day when he and Wolfwood beat each other up. He can't bring himself to care about the details when all he wants to do is kiss Mizuki stupid.
Oxygen, though, is still necessary. They part with a wet "pop", blood and saliva smeared over the both of them, and Elsword bonks their foreheads together in an affectionate gesture.]
You're still not a monster to me, [he finally says.] I wouldn't kiss you like that if I thought you were.
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It's not fair, though, is it? Elsword doesn't understand what Mizuki is. Elsword probably feels better abound Mizuki without knowing why. How cruel, then, that he's allowing this. How cruel that he doesn't want to stop. How cruel, how cruel. Mizuki knows full well all these thoughts are his own, too, since We Many has absolutely 0 stake in romantic endeavors. Unless he intends to make Elsword part of the Swarm, anyway, We're just going to stay mostly silent. Which is honestly probably worse, since it means Mizuki has to figure this out quite literally on his own. He doesn't know how.
You're still not a monster to me, he says. I know, Mizuki wants to say back. To be fair, Mizuki also doesn't truly think he's a monster — he believes We Many to be people just as much as anyone else here or on Terra. They are simply treated poorly because of a very unfortunate series of events. But he'd be lying if he didn't feel like one right now. And he'd also be lying if he thought that he couldn't do something completely heinous at this point and have Elsword think any less of him. It's what heroes do, right? They just see good in people and want to believe the best in them.
Maybe he doesn't have to think that hard about it, actually. Maybe he just has to accept that Elsword is happy, and therefore he should try his best to keep that going. That's all Mizuki wanted, anyway — for the people he cares about to be happy.
So he's going to nudge Elsword on his back so the blood can stop oozing from his collar like that and drag the three comforters with him on top, and after wiping away the blood on his lips, he licks clean the remnants on Elsword's. Only when it's gone does he press a passionate, less bloody kiss against him. ]
crashes in here
Add is here now (by proxy). Mizuki's tracking data updated awhile ago, but he still hasn't reported the meeting results! And Add could just ask for an update and politely wait, sure, but how is he supposed to do that when Mizuki's physical record is showing he's been stabbed?? As a result, there is only a brief pause between Add pinging in for a checkup and deciding to simply patch himself in to the hivemind. Dynamo is still acting as his VPN, but there's a distinct Add-ness to how the AI spreads their mental tendrils, mindful of the Many while still shameless prodding at Mizuki's private thoughts. Prying for information, Elsword, the taste of blood, conflicting emotion—
It's a lot to process, but he can multitask. Concern is etched into his message, not quite a command (he can find it himself, if need be).
Meeting? Status report? Injury? On my way. Layered in the data is Add's own tracking information. He's already halfway out the lab door on a beeline to their house, Dynamo will arrive first by a small margin. Mizuki has approximately 2 minutes to explain.]
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He relays back to Add: I'm okay. Got hurt, but it's healed over mostly. Just a small cut. Learned about the shards. I can halt the forest's corruption in Elsword now, though I can't get rid of it. Most of the other information is stuff we knew from the prior meeting. I mentioned something I shouldn't have, though, and it made Irene question if I was Aegir. She cut me to see if my blood was blue. I don't think she intended to really hurt me.
Elsword got upset that Irene cut me, and there was a lot of yelling, so I brought him home away from the Inn. I was a little upset about being outed as Seaborn in front of everyone, and she had said some very upsetting — if correct — things about me, so my emotions got the better of me.
Things sort of escalated. I kissed Elsword…
…Sorry I let my emotions get way too ahead of me. ]
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that's it that's the tag]
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no, okay, slow down. The stream of communication suddenly cuts out, if only for a second. Think logically. Mizuki is being truthful right now, just like before. Apologetic, even. He's not a threat to Add.
Focus on the facts. He'll be there shortly, regardless.
Communication resumes, slightly calmer than before. He's prying less, trying not to show his own uncertainty.
Noted. Is Irene a threat? (if she is, he'll kill her, he's unwilling to lose someone as valuable as Mizuki) Re: Elsword, who initiated?
There's something in the signal that echoes of "this is Elsword's fault" without meaning to, he just knows it must be.]
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While Mizuki was absolutely on board with lying and saying it's his fault, it's not so easy to filter out his thoughts, so… uh, oh well! Probably better in the long run, anyway. He shouldn't be keeping secrets from his commander like that.
Not a threat. He did. Then I did? I bit him and so the first kiss was all bloody and I felt bad about it because I didn't want it to be a horrible kiss—
sorry. It's not his fault, I didn't stop him.
Just… you know, gonna climb off of Elsword now. Sorry, buddy. ] Add is… um. Add's on his way over.
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[Elsword has no fucking idea he's about to be in goddamn trouble, so:]
I was hoping he'd get out of the lab at some—
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Hello! He has arrived!! There is wind and snow howling out of that hole and also Add's arm. He brushes some of the glass off the windowsill before delicately, somewhat pointlessly, unlocking the window... and then pulling it open normally. He then steps off his remaining dynamos like this is a normal way to enter a building.
There is no time to address the glass on the floor, the snow blowing in and falling off Add's shoulders, how they are going to repair that window tonight, priority number one—]
So, what happened to talking to me first? Or is that only when it's convenient for you?! [the needles are out and boy are there sparks lighting up this room right now, he's Pissed, answer carefully
(after a slight delay, there's still a response to Mizuki's inquiries, because Dynamo is a very good secretary: Noted. Noted. No apology required. Handling it. Please hold.)]
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And then he just... points a finger at Mizuki and speaks thus, with the wisdom of ages:]
Don't you want to kiss him too?
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[This might be Elsword confusing Science Emotion with Love Emotion but they're kind of the same for Add sooooooo can you blame him]
You can have a kiss from me too! [elsword—]
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Cold? The bed's warm. I'll grab bandages for Elsword.
And maybe it's also an excuse to get out of here, but he'll worm himself away to go get some disinfectant and such for Elsword's bite wound. ]
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[Anger gives way to fluster, as much as he tries not to let it show... but really, it's not about Mizuki. It's about how little Elsword seems to care about kissing whoever he pleases. What does that make Add? If he's not special, if it really is just how Elsword treats everyone... what's he supposed to feel, if Elsword could live without him? If he could one day move on?
His eye flicks over to Mizuki... and he hisses out a sigh, folding his arms tightly to his chest. Dynamo hums loudly to combat the blowing cold.
I'll fix it, followed by a mental map of exactly which corner of which drawer he keeps the first aid supplies. Traces of something bitter leak through, emotions he can't quite strip away. Not completely.]
... Is it because I'm too busy? You don't see me enough? If it's too difficult to come to the lab—if you said something before I could've made different plans, but I can still make adjustments. Am I not doing something correctly? Just tell me what it is, and I'll fix it.
[he's not good enough, that must be why Elsword sought out affection from Mizuki... but he can still fix it. he can be better.]
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Add, I'm not... a needy person. I'm pretty sure, anyway. [Usually you can just set Elsword down and let him be around people, and that's good enough for him. He's like a chinchilla.] If you're busy, you're busy, but that doesn't mean I love you less. I bring you food and try to drag you home when you and Mr. Gnosis are sleeping on the desks in the lab...
[Chinhands, with his... uh... good hand...? "Good"?]
...I wouldn't do that if I didn't care.
[...]
I'm not trying to... betray you or anything like that. Add— you're good enough for me. You don't have to change or do anything differently. Keep doing what you're doing, it's my fault for being impulsive. I thought you'd be okay with...
[Gestures in a circle with his hand. You know.]
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He really loves Elsword. He knows that now. And he'd be lying if he said he didn't have similar feelings for Add. He'll swallow those swiftly in favor of "casually" feeding his thoughts into mindlink. Specifically that of when he got a little ahead of himself. He'd mentioned being able to take away that pain and simply have Elsword become One with him. How that could make it so Elsword could feel things easier like that. Admittedly, at the time, he was absolutely thinking about the Seaborn, but… is becoming One not also this link he has with Add?
A thought, then, if Elsword said yes to that — and he did — would he not be willing to hear Add out for that idea?
…Just some food for thought~.
He comes back with the first aid materials and brings them over to Add before the two of them start arguing because of something he did for a second time… ]
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Everything tangles in his chest, trying to grasp what words to say, how to make Elsword do what he wants... but he's also multitasking, and suddenly that secondary task is a lot more important he agreed to what now
There is an intensity behind Add's gaze, staring down Elsword like he just said something completely insane (he did, kind of). Dynamo draws in around him, crackling sparks. It's... less threatening, somehow. More defensive. Nervous.
... Elsword didn't know what he was saying yes to, though, and that's so like him to agree blindly without understanding the situation, but... another moment comes to mind, I wish you could feel how I felt about you.
there is a feeling of hhrrrhghgh in the depths of the hivemind]
Let me see your shoulder. [briskly clearing the gap from the bed to the window, don't change the subject? sorry, that was only for Elsword, Add is allowed to change the subject, he's going to heal this first. Mizuki pass him the fucking bandages]
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There is also blood on his lips from where he was licking it out of Mizuki's mouth like a fucking freak, don't... don't worry about that, okay.]
It's not that bad. It's like the last time I got bitten.
[Man who gets bitten on the daily by his freak-ass friend group: it's fine they're not actually rabid]
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Please, he just wants to fix this. He doesn't want them to fight. He's sorry, truly. Tonight was just… hard on him, emotionally. People finding out that he's a
monsterfreakSeaborn meant that there was a lot of self-deprecating stuff running through his head. Nothing he believes, of course, but that didn't mean it wasn't there, briefly. A lapse in judgement. It felt nice to be wanted. To be loved. He wants to kiss Elsword again and hold his hands, but if Add doesn't want that, he won't.But what he won't let slide by is this. Being One with both his heroes???? Absolutely not. So after Add has the bandages, Mizuki looks directly at Elsword, and very bluntly tells him what he was hoping Add would: ]
If you could have us both be in your head, and you got to feel all the stuff we feel without it just being the bad, you would want that, wouldn't you?
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Add sputters like an old motor. There are alarms blaring in his mind, and over the mindlink there is a resounding WHY ARE YOU TELLING HIM THAT? This is NOT part of the plan! This isn't part of any plan!! What the fuck!! He wasn't ready for this!!!
In his panic he spills half the bottle of disinfectant onto Elsword's wound. It is for sure disinfected now, at least.]
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Yeah. Then I could keep tabs on you guys when you go into the woods next. [Normal behaviour.] And then Add can know that I think he's perfect the way he is, and Mizuki can know I don't think he's a monster like Irene does. So yeah.
I want to feel the stuff that makes you guys happy, too.
[He has half an idea what he's agreeing to here, but it caught Add off-guard... has Mizuki already offered for Add to join We Many, maybe? That would make sense, since hiveminds are supposed to add more... minds... to the hive. Or something like that.]
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You are, unfortunately, not the first person to intensely yell in Mizuki's mind, Add. Though, admittedly, the fact that this is yelling and not eldritch shrieking means he's at least a little more sympathetic. But also? He adores you, Add, and has a disgusting amount of loyalty towards you, yet right now even he thinks you're being far too anxious.
Please listen to Elsword. It's important to hear about his wants, too. That's kind of the whole point of being in a relationship. ]
So you would want that? To be with us, to have our thoughts with yours, our emotions together, a oneness and complete integration with one another?
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[Elsword please understand what you're asking for challenge.]
As much as it sucked to feel only people's bad emotions that one month, [whatever month that was, it was one of them, Elsword has lost track,] I was... okay with it, in a weird way. It let me know you were safe, and I was able to find Mizuki when he was injured. Stuff like that.
[It goes back to Elsword's need to Constantly protect other people, even if it'll be actively detrimental to his wellbeing. How is he supposed to jump in front of a bullet if he can't find y'all? Checkmate, atheists.]
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[He'd fallen quiet, between the shock and the disbelief, but he regains his composure enough to interject. Is this exchange, is Elsword's consent supposed to make him happy? Can it be that easy? All he had to do was ask?
Of course not. He sighs, exasperated, and roughly pulls down Elsword's shirt to access the shoulder. This is faster
(and less distracting)than making his strip. He is going to treat this bitewound, thanks...]Ignoring the risks that come with invasive surgery, complications and rejection by the body, having to adapt to a new method of communication that may be uncomfortable or difficult to use... modifications of this nature are permanent, I would hope you'd ask more questions before impulsively agreeing to something you don't understand. There won't be any "changing your mind" later.
[There's more. He knows there's more, but he still hesitates, staring down as he wraps the wound... he's thought about this one. There are a few different approaches he can take, he doesn't have to say anything at all, but is it better if he can explain it away with a good excuse? That leaves less risk in the long term, right? He doesn't have to lie about it. He can be more honest about why it has to stay a secret... he may even be able to test it openly. But there's always a risk. If Elsword gets suspicious, disagrees, blurts it out to someone by mistake...
he shouldn't say it at all. it could be his trump card. something no one could expect, not even the Forest.
... ah, the Forest can hear through him, can't it? maybe... it would even think of this as a mistake. allowing Elsword into their minds, and it by extension...]
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